E.I.Y. Tour Diary Entry 1

We're on day five of the E.I.Y. Fall Tour w/ Gardening, Not Architecture driving to Redding for the show at Downtown Eatery tonight. Things are progressing as one would expect for an independent artist who is touring to support an album about zombies and ladybugs: attendance is low (Seattle's show would've had better attendance if we'd played in a port-a-potty), we are sleep and nutrition deprived (last night we slept on a STRANGEr's hardwood floor that may or may not have had chlamydia on it), and, with the exception of Portland, show payouts and merch sales have been horrible (we're down about $1300 so far, and we haven't made any payments on the van yet). The upside is that the trio is really fun to play with and Gray and Eduardo are very solid on this loony material, so stress isn't high on stage. We are also thankful to have my son Lumas with us, guarding the equipment and eating the violent food from Denny's that we're unable to finish.
We are eager to play CA, where folks are more likely to take an interest in something left of center. Brett Michaels is holding up well, getting 21 miles to the gallon and only emitting that burning oil smell every few hours.
We have met several very interesting people on this tour, many of which Sarah (from Gardening, Not Architecture) has captured on camera. We have tried to incite retaliation from Sarah and her indentured servant Andrew by slapping tomatoes and macaroni pasta on the windshield of their bright orange luxury rental (hereby known as "Brett Dennen"), but they have yet to rise to the challenge. Maybe they know that if they step to Brett Michaels they're entering a world of terror.