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Saturday, March 17, 2007

SXSW Diary #2

I had a vision today where the musicians (and the australian bands too) revolt at sxsw... somehow they arrange to destroy all the acohol in Austin. I know, I know. How do you do that? Well, use your head, kid. The shipments are easy to spot. So you get some firecrackers, and you spook every team of Clydesdales heading into downtown. BAM. Prohibition.
So the city's basically dry, or will be shortly after Amy Winehouse plays (her 14th show). So early in the morning on day 2 or 3 or whatever... like 11am, the artists all rise up like Stephen Luther King style (a peaceful revolution by way of absolute gore) and storm the Hilton - probably dressed like the mime baseball team in The Warriors - tear the A&R guys, the distributors, the product managers, the publicists, the publishers, the licensors, all their coincidentally valuptuous blond 18 year-old assistants, and Daisy Fuentes off their temprapedic matresses and send them into the streets buck naked and hung over, without so much as a promotional keychain compass (yes, I have one). Their firetipped hair would be shaved on the way out to the street (probably by the british bands, as they came amply supplied with hair care products), so that by the time they were lurching around the street blinking like toads, their gray fuzz would be their only shield from the hot sun (unless they were the 18 year old blond assistants, at which point they would easily be able to take shelter beneath the bulbous guts of said grayheads). And for one day, before the National Guard comes in and sets things right again, the musicians would be the bigger benefactors of their work, and bask in the fruits of their own labor on the rooftop pool, nap in cushy beds, and order room service.
'Course things wouldn't really get to that point. By the time the National Guard would arrive outside the Hilton, shouting their surrender instructions, the musicians would have long since vacated the premises. After all, the blond assistants and the booze would be wandering into Dallas at that point.

I know this is a stupid vision. I sound more bitter than I actually am... I guess I'd just prefer to see these musicians dressed as mime ballers than what they've currently got on. Truth be told, I've seen some amazing music this week...
Kaki King, Boris, The Melvins, Ane Brun, Public Enemy, El P, Gift of Gab, Andrew Bird, Lyrics Born, Eisley, Elvis Perkins, 31 Knots, Do Make Say Think, Facing New York, Monty Are I, Great Northern, Daughters, Sunshine (something), Patrick Watson, and a gang of others. I'm just kind of ready to be home working on music. I've got a show tonight, maybe that'll get the bug out.
Oh! Free keychain flashlights are being handed out... I gotta go.

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